Be Positively Thankful at Thanksgiving (and year-round!)

Are you tired of all the negativity in the world around you? A great leader knows that people who are different from himself will not naturally be attracted to him. People normally draw people to themselves who are like themselves. Maybe you’ve started thinking about the people you have attracted in the past (or present). You might say to yourself, “I can name twenty things that make these people different from me.” Of course you can. But if you think about it carefully, you'll begin to realize, that the people who are drawn to you have more similarities than differences, especially in a few key areas. One of those key areas is attitude. Rarely are positive and negative people attracted to one another. This is one instance where opposites do not attract. If you think the people around you are negative, then you had better check your own attitude. As Zig Ziglar used to commonly say, “Perhaps it’s time for a check-up from the neck up.” On the contrary, people who view life as a series of opportunities and exciting challenges don’t want to hear others talk about how bad things are all the time. To attract positive, up-beat, cheerful people, you must be a positive person. So for Thanksgiving, begin expressing your thankfulness for all the many blessings in your life. Show your gratitude. Focus on the positive. Express praise and affirmation to those around you. You'll be surprised how positive your world will become. Curtis Songer is a career, life, & leadership coach specializing in permanent, life changing transformation. For more information, email him at curtis.songer@truthatlife.com or visit his website at http://www.truthatlife.com/

Struggling With Habitual Sin?

What happens when WE stumble and fall as Christians? Do we give up? Do we continue to fall? Do we beat ourselves up for it? Do we continue to roll in the mud of sin and/or self-pity hoping that we will somehow get cleaner? Or do we just continue to fight in futility hoping we will overcome what we have never overcome? Here are some key tips to remember when you are struggling with a particularly difficult (and possibly repetitive) sin: 1. No one is beyond restoration. For those who put their faith in Christ, "there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." Why is it that some Christians don't live this way, but continue to beat themselves up for they've done? Because they don't believe they are priceless and precious. But they are - in God's eyes. Just like priceless works of art are never thrown away, but constantly restored by experts, so we are also far more valuable than any piece of art. God will never cease to restore us. Jesus came to redeem and restore us and make us new everyday. He is in the business of restoration. 2. Restoration begins with our recognition of our weakness. Many of us do the same thing over and over and expect a different result. Yet we are all pre-disposed to some weakness, some temptation that Satan will use against us. Until we admit it, and ask for help, we will fail over and over again. We need help - God's help and the help of other godly people. God's power is made perfect in our weakness. His restoration is activated in our admission of brokenness and in our admission of helplessness to overcome the habitual sin. We cannot overcome by fighting with greater and greater effort. We only overcome by surrendering it to God. Like a piece of grippy rubber in our hand turns us into a lid-popping beast, when we admit our weakness and ask God for help and surrender the battle to Him, we become a weakness-overcoming beast. 3. Don't let God's restoration project be in vain. Imagine how a craftsman would feel if he came into a house that he had totally renewed only a year earlier and the family had absolutely trashed it! That's how God feels if we don't take care of the amazing work He has done in our life. To honor Him, we need to attend carefully to the amazing restoration He has already made in our life, beginning with His restoration of our life on the day of our salvation. Don't abuse the gift of grace that God has given you. You should desire to live righteously for Him! Restoration is a process that begins on the day of your salvation and continues everyday of your life. Don't let a single day go by that you either abuse, or don't take advantage of the grace-filled restoration He offers you! Curtis Songer is a career, life, & leadership coach specializing in permanent, life changing transformation. For more information, email him at curtis.songer@truthatlife.com or visit his website at http://www.truthatlife.com/

The Darkness has Not Overcome It

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning. Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. In him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it. (John 1:1-5 NIV)

Did you read that last part?  The darkness has not overcome it.  Great encouragement for believers in our society today.  No matter what happens, the darkness has NOT overcome Him and His plan for us!

The Problem with Church (part 4 of 4)

Are you known as someone who offers grace? Are you known as a grace-giver? Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality. Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited. Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. (‭Romans‬ ‭12‬:‭9-18‬ NIV) Why aren't these things true about me? About you? What keeps us from offering grace? Two things keep us from being grace-givers: 1. We compare. If others are like us - OK. If not, we judge them. We become legalistic. We destroy grace. Comparison is poison in the church. 2. We love to control. We influence and intimidate and manipulate. We bully people to do things our way. This stifles creativity and love and nullifies grace. What magnifies grace: 1. We have got to learn to accept each other. To love one another - without conditions! A grace-giver accepts and loves unconditionally. What about music tastes in worship? What about alcoholic beverages (without getting drunk)? Accept the one whose faith is weak, without quarreling over disputable matters. One person’s faith allows them to eat anything, but another, whose faith is weak, eats only vegetables. The one who eats everything must not treat with contempt the one who does not, and the one who does not eat everything must not judge the one who does, for God has accepted them. Who are you to judge someone else’s servant? To their own master, servants stand or fall. And they will stand, for the Lord is able to make them stand. (‭Romans‬ ‭14‬:‭1-4‬ NIV) I must love you, accept you, and offer you grace even if your standards are different than mine? 2. We have to allow God to guide. Let each one be fully convinced in his own mind. Let the Holy Spirit do His work in every believer. He is the only one that we will give an account to. 3. Don't judge each other. Jesus died for all man so that only He has the right to be Lord over all. So why do we think we can be God (the judge over all). Our job is to let God do His job. The way we do that is to offer grace. Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in the way of a brother or sister. I am convinced, being fully persuaded in the Lord Jesus, that nothing is unclean in itself. But if anyone regards something as unclean, then for that person it is unclean. If your brother or sister is distressed because of what you eat, you are no longer acting in love. Do not by your eating destroy someone for whom Christ died. Therefore do not let what you know is good be spoken of as evil. For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit, because anyone who serves Christ in this way is pleasing to God and receives human approval. Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification. (‭Romans‬ ‭14‬:‭13-19‬ NIV) 4. We must express our liberties wisely. We have no right to rub it in the face of our brother and sister in Christ. We must not be a stumbling block to our brothers and sisters. We must express our liberties wisely when we are with them. We must respect our brothers' and sisters' beliefs. The only thing the church has to offer is the amazing grace of Jesus Christ. We have to accept each other, in love, without conditions. For more information, visit our website at http://www.truthatlife.com/

The Problem with Church (part 3 of 4)

One of the most deadly diseases in the church today is legalism. It kills pastors, members, seekers of God, and entire churches! It kills the movement of the Spirit of God! Is your hair too long, do you wear the wrong clothes, do you have a tattoo, have you ever drank a beer or glass of wine, It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. (‭Galatians‬ ‭5‬:‭1‬ NIV) Paul says, related to legalism, give me Christian liberty or give me death! Christian Liberty can be friend by the following statement: Love God with all of your heart, then do whatever you want. Implied the message: if you love God with ALL your heart, everything you do will be with the goal of pleasing God. Legalism is: Do good things, stay away from bad things, then you will be spiritual and pleasing to God. It breeds hypocrisy and guilt among the members of the church. Three things that legalism does to kill the church: 1. There is only one way to God - through the grace of Jesus Christ. I am astonished that you are so quickly deserting the one who called you to live in the grace of Christ and are turning to a different gospel— which is really no gospel at all. Evidently some people are throwing you into confusion and are trying to pervert the gospel of Christ. But even if we or an angel from heaven should preach a gospel other than the one we preached to you, let them be under God’s curse! (‭Galatians‬ ‭1‬:‭6-8‬ NIV) If you make chocolate chip cookies with a cup of salt instead of a cup is sugar, you will not follow the one road to chocolate chip cookies. Is it any less stupid to think you can get to God by following any road of religion we like? 2. Legalism tries to enslave the believer. Yet not even Titus, who was with me, was compelled to be circumcised, even though he was a Greek. This matter arose because some false believers had infiltrated our ranks to spy on the freedom we have in Christ Jesus and to make us slaves. We did not give in to them for a moment, so that the truth of the gospel might be preserved for you. (‭Galatians‬ ‭2‬:‭3-5‬ NIV) There are people in the church who are constantly trying to redefine what it means to be spiritual by defining new and restrictive rules of behavior. 3. Legalism breeds hypocrisy in the church. When Cephas came to Antioch, I opposed him to his face, because he stood condemned. For before certain men came from James, he used to eat with the Gentiles. But when they arrived, he began to draw back and separate himself from the Gentiles because he was afraid of those who belonged to the circumcision group. The other Jews joined him in his hypocrisy, so that by their hypocrisy even Barnabas was led astray. (‭Galatians‬ ‭2‬:‭11-13‬ NIV) Even Peter, held in esteem by some to be the first Pope, held by all to have been a great leader in the early church, became trapped in hypocrisy! It happens to all of us. Are we trying to please man or to please God? Get rid of YOUR definition of spirituality, YOUR rules of behavior, YOUR road to God, YOUR hypocrisy, and YOUR judgement of others who don't measure up. Embrace God's grace! See our website at www.truthatlife.com

The Problem with Church (part 2 of 4)

Think about this: God loves you as much today as He ever will! There is nothing you will ever do to get Him to live you more. The more Christ-like you become will not impact how much He loves you. All of us have become like one who is unclean, and all our righteous acts are like filthy rags; we all shrivel up like a leaf, and like the wind our sins sweep us away. (‭Isaiah‬ ‭64‬:‭6‬ NIV) By being in church today, by reading the Bible daily, by giving to the church, by serving in the nursery, you don't look any better to God. He is no more pleasing to God? So why live a moral life? For certain individuals whose condemnation was written about long ago have secretly slipped in among you. They are ungodly people, who pervert the grace of our God into a license for immorality and deny Jesus Christ our only Sovereign and Lord. (‭Jude‬ ‭1‬:‭4‬ NIV) What shall we say, then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? By no means! We are those who have died to sin; how can we live in it any longer? (‭Romans‬ ‭6‬:‭1-2‬ NIV) We live a godly life because "He first loved us." The natural, normal response to His sacrificial death and free gift of salvation, is to worship, love, and obey Him. He gave himself for us to redeem us from all wickedness and to purify for himself a people that are his very own, eager to do what is good. (‭Titus‬ ‭2‬:‭14‬ NIV) (Jonathan son of Saul had a son who was lame in both feet. He was five years old when the news about Saul and Jonathan came from Jezreel. His nurse picked him up and fled, but as she hurried to leave, he fell and became disabled. His name was Mephibosheth.) (‭2 Samuel‬ ‭4‬:‭4‬ NIV) In the following story, David is God and we are Mephibosheth: David asked, “Is there anyone still left of the house of Saul to whom I can show kindness for Jonathan’s sake?” Now there was a servant of Saul’s household named Ziba. They summoned him to appear before David, and the king said to him, “Are you Ziba?” “At your service,” he replied. The king asked, “Is there no one still alive from the house of Saul to whom I can show God’s kindness?” Ziba answered the king, “There is still a son of Jonathan; he is lame in both feet.” “Where is he?” the king asked. Ziba answered, “He is at the house of Makir son of Ammiel in Lo Debar.” So King David had him brought from Lo Debar, from the house of Makir son of Ammiel. When Mephibosheth son of Jonathan, the son of Saul, came to David, he bowed down to pay him honor. David said, “Mephibosheth!” “At your service,” he replied. “Don’t be afraid,” David said to him, “for I will surely show you kindness for the sake of your father Jonathan. I will restore to you all the land that belonged to your grandfather Saul, and you will always eat at my table.” Mephibosheth bowed down and said, “What is your servant, that you should notice a dead dog like me?” Then the king summoned Ziba, Saul’s steward, and said to him, “I have given your master’s grandson everything that belonged to Saul and his family. You and your sons and your servants are to farm the land for him and bring in the crops, so that your master’s grandson may be provided for. And Mephibosheth, grandson of your master, will always eat at my table.” (Now Ziba had fifteen sons and twenty servants.) Then Ziba said to the king, “Your servant will do whatever my lord the king commands his servant to do.” So Mephibosheth ate at David’s table like one of the king’s sons. Mephibosheth had a young son named Mika, and all the members of Ziba’s household were servants of Mephibosheth. And Mephibosheth lived in Jerusalem, because he always ate at the king’s table; he was lame in both feet. (‭2 Samuel‬ ‭9‬:‭1-13‬ NIV) Mephibosheth had nothing to offer the king and neither do we. David had no use for Mephibosheth and neither does god for us. David gives Mephibosheth a full inheritance as if he were his own son, and does God to us. The obvious response of Mephibosheth would be one of eternal thanks and honor to David, and so should we to God. We need an attitude of gratitude! Again: He gave himself for us to redeem us from all wickedness and to purify for himself a people that are his very own, eager to do what is good. (‭Titus‬ ‭2‬:‭14‬ NIV) Praise be to God! Lord, forgive us for our lack of gratitude and honor to You! Might we serve, honor, love, and worship you faithfully forever! Amen! See our website at www.truthatlife.com

The Problem With Church (part 1 of 4)

The American Work ethic:  If you want something, you have to go get it.  If it's going to be, it's up to me.  There is no such thing as a free lunch.  This is the WORKS mentality.

This is not how God works, but it is how we act like His church works.

The Lord is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and rich in love. (Psalm 145:8 NIV)

What is grace?
God's riches at Christ's expense.
Grace is God's love in action.
Grace is the face that God wears when He looks at all my failures.
To bow down.

Aside:  tithing is not about the amount, or even the percentage, it is about how it makes you FEEL and THINK when you give.  Does it hurt, does it scare you, do you feel at risk, do you realize your dependence on God.  If not, you are not giving enough.

G = God's gift to is.

for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus. (Romans 3:23-24 NIV)

All other religions are based on what you have to "do", Christianity is based upon what has already been "done".  On the cross, Jesus Himself said, "It is FINISHED!"

R = Received by faith

For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast. (Ephesians 2:8-9 NIV)

A = Available to everyone

For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you profess your faith and are saved. (Romans 10:10 NIV)

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. (John 3:16 NIV)

C = Comes through Christ alone

For the law was given through Moses; grace and truth came through Jesus Christ. (John 1:17 NIV)

Grace is free, but it wasn't cheap!

Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. (John 14:6 NIV)

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here! (2 Corinthians 5:17 NIV)

When you are in Christ, all God sees is  Christ!

E = Extends through eternity!

Once you have God's grace, there is nothing you can do to loose it.  The gift of God's grave goes on through all eternity.

For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 6:23 NIV)

There's just one catch, you have to accept the gift.

See our website at www.truthatlife.com

If You Could Live Anywhere in the World, Where Would You Live?

When I travel on business, I like to talk to the taxi drivers who take me from the airport to my hotel, or to a convention center, or to a restaurant. Taxi drivers are often immigrants with interesting personal histories and unusual cultural backgrounds. I ask them how long they’ve been in America, how they chose which city to live in, and what they like best about where they live. Of course, I also ask them for advice on good local restaurants and any special attractions they’d recommend to a visitor. I’ve had some great experiences on my travels, thanks to the advice of taxi drivers! On one trip about ten years ago, I was making conversation with the taxi driver, asking him my usual questions about how he came to live where he lived. Then I asked him a hypothetical question: “If you could live anywhere in the world—and if money was no object—where would you live?” Without hesitating even for a second, he replied, “I live in my heart. So it really doesn’t matter where my body lives. If I am happy inside, then I live in Paradise, no matter where my residence is.” I felt humbled and a little foolish for my question. Of course he was right—happiness is an inside job. He had reminded me of something I already knew, but had forgotten. If you can’t find happiness inside yourself, you’ll never find it in the outside world, no matter where you move. Wherever you go, there you are. You take yourself with you. I am grateful for the wisdom of that taxi driver. And I’m grateful for all the wisdom others have shared with me about how to be happy. Read more at... www.truthatlife.com

No Worries, Be Happy

What will it take for you to be happy? Benjamin Franklin pointed out that, “The U.S. Constitution doesn’t guarantee happiness, only the pursuit of it. You have to catch up to it yourself.” A lot of us pin our happiness to external factors...if only we had more money...or a better house...or whatever your latest “want” is, but your happiness has been...and always will be... right inside yourself. That concept is liberating because it finally puts you in charge of your own happiness. When I travel on business, I like to talk to the taxi drivers who take me from the airport to my hotel, or to a convention center, or to a restaurant. Taxi drivers are often immigrants with interesting personal histories and unusual cultural backgrounds. I ask them how long they’ve been in America, how they chose which city to live in, and what they like best about where they live. Of course, I also ask them for advice on good local restaurants and any special attractions they’d recommend to a visitor. I’ve had some great experiences on my travels, thanks to the advice of taxi drivers! On one trip about ten years ago, I was making conversation with the taxi driver, asking him my usual questions about how he came to live where he lived. Then I asked him a hypothetical question: “If you could live anywhere in the world—and if money was no object—where would you live?” Without hesitating even for a second, he replied, “I live in my heart. So it really doesn’t matter where my body lives. If I am happy inside, then I live in Paradise, no matter where my residence is.” I felt humbled and a little foolish for my question. Of course he was right—happiness is an inside job. He had reminded me of something I already knew, but had forgotten. If you can’t find happiness inside yourself, you’ll never find it in the outside world, no matter where you move. Wherever you go, there you are. You take yourself with you. I am grateful for the wisdom of that taxi driver. Yet psychologists say “happiness” is on the decline in the United States. Is that true in your life? Are you struggling to be contecnt with what you have and where you are? Are you wishing you change an area of your life or achieve a certain goal, but just seem to be stuck and making little progress? Truth@Life can help. Call 248-396-6255 or email me at curtis.songer@truthatlife.com for a FREE consultation. For more info on help I can provide check out http://truthatlife.com/

Is Your Boss Dr. Jekyll or Mr. Hyde Today?

Ever have an exceptionally moody boss? You never know if the “good boss” or the “evil boss” is going to show up for work – will it be Dr. Jekyll or Mr. Hyde today? Here’s how one person learned to deal with the issue: If there was a problem at work that needed the attention of the moody boss, this person would add that to a running list of issues he needed help with, then take it to the weekly staff meeting. Being very careful to never sit next to the moody boss, he had a chance to observe how the boss treated others as discussions went from person to person around the table during the staff meeting. After the boss had talked to two or three other staff members during the meeting, this person could accurately gauge the mood of the boss. If he was in a bad mood, he would keep the list to himself and save it for another day. If he was in a good mood, he would try to get the boss to address as many issues as possible in that meeting. The problem was, this employee sometimes had to hold his list for 5 of 6 weeks at a time until the boss’ mood was right. This often led to a delay in resolving some important issues. The good news is that the employee rarely, if ever, got ripped into. A Yiddish proverb states, “If you act like an ass, don’t get insulted if people ride you like one.” Consistency doesn’t come natural to everyone. In fact, nobody is consistently consistent. Aldous Huxley once said, “Consistency is contrary to nature, contrary to human life. The only completely consistent people are the dead.” If you want to be the kind of leader others want to follow, then you’ll have plan and fight to be consistent. This will help you to be seen by others as approachable. Even if you care for people, are honest with them, and can perform your job well, people will not depend on you and will not trust you unless you are consistent and committed. People admire people who exhibit great commitment. Think of some of the great leaders you admire. When I think of those I admire one of the first qualities that comes to my mind is their commitment - commitment to their cause and commitment to their principles. They’ve given everything they have to leading according to their principles. One of the greatest challenges is to lead without a leadership position. Consistency and commitment increase our ability to lead others, even if we are not in the leadership position. And at its purest form, that’s what true leadership is – influence – nothing more, nothing less. The whole secret is to think influence and not position. Do you desire to become a more consistent and committed leader? Truth@Life can help. Call 248-396-6255 or email me at curtis.songer@truthatlife.com for a FREE consultation. For more info on help I can provide check out http://truthatlife.com/

The Difference Between Character, Confidence, & Competence

Thomas Paine once said, “I love the man that can smile in trouble, that can gather strength from distress, and grow brave by reflection. Tis the business of little minds to shrink, but he whose heart is firm, and whose conscience approves his conduct, will pursue his principles unto death.” What gives the leader the strength to exhibit such admirable qualities? The answer is character. We tend to put a lot of emphasis on intelligence and skill in this country. And while those things are important, they cannot substitute for strong character. Trust is the foundation of leadership. A leader who understood all too well how character issues impact leadership is Chuck Colson, the former Nixon aide who was imprisoned in the wake of the Watergate scandal. Colson turned his life around after that ordeal and subsequently lectured on leadership and faith issues. He said, “As you go through life, whether it’s in the military, in your business, in the church, in your family, or whatever walk of life, someone is going to depend on your character more than upon your IQ.” There are far too many middle leaders who don’t live by the character code of top leadership. They think they don’t have to live that way until they become the top (visible) leader. The fact is that if they don’t live by that code now, they are less likely to ever become the top leader. And if they ever do, they probably won’t live by that code then. But if they choose to limit their freedoms now, they will learn the sacrifices of the position they one day desire to possess. If you desire to be a great leader, then develop and exhibit the kind of character that you would find admirable in a top leader. That will pave the way for relationships with other leaders today and prepare you for non-positional leadership. Respect is almost always gained on difficult ground. A leadership position will help a leader only until difficulties arise. Then the leader must arise to meet those difficulties. Leaders who are incapable of meeting challenges may desire respect from their followers and peers, but they rarely get it. They may be liked if they possess good character and care for others, but they won’t be highly respected. People may treat them kindly, but they won’t listen to them. It has been said, “Everyone may have the right to speak, but not everyone has earned the right to be heard.” While poor leaders demand respect, competent leaders have earned respect. Being able to do a job well brings a leader credibility. If you think you can do a job, that’s confidence. If you actually can do it, that’s competence. Do you desire to become a person of greater character, competence, or confidence? Truth@Life can help. Call 248-396-6255 or email me at curtis.songer@truthatlife.com for a FREE consultation. For more info on help I can provide check out http://truthatlife.com/

Extending the Workshops Designed to Help Your Teen Identify their Life Calling, Career, & College

Due to extremely popular demand, we have extended our new series of free information sessions to Help Your Teen Identify their Life Calling, Career, & College. These sessions are of tremendous value in helping your teen identify their life purpose, how that maps to their career calling, improving their confidence and self-esteem, and making them better decision makers. Summer is a great time for your student to focus on these topics! The local free information sessions will be ideal for anyone you may know who may be one of the following situations: 1. You have many talents & aren’t sure what to do with them. 2. You're stressed about feeling a lack of direction and purpose. 3. The school aptitude test told you to go into a career that you’re not interested in. 4. You’re headed to college in the next year, but don’t know what to major in. 5. You're already at college and are considering changing your major. 6. You’ve graduated from college and think you may have made a mistake. 7. You're just starting out and need guidance in getting started in your career. Parents who have attended these sessions say the program has saved them over $20,000 per child! Come and see how. The “Help Your Teen Identify their Life Calling, Career, & College” sessions will be held at the following times and locations. Please help me spread the word! Panera Bread, 4172 William Penn Highway, Monroeville, June 19 at 6pm; Panera Bread, 12071 Perry Hwy, Wexford, PA 15090, June 23 at 6pm; Panera Bread, 12071 Perry Hwy, Wexford, PA 15090, June 26 at 6pm. For more information call or email Curtis Songer at curtis.songer@truthatlife.com or 248-396-6255

Become a Person of Influence

Leading others beyond your position is not easy. If real leadership were easy, everybody would excel at it. Most good leaders believe in themselves and their leadership ability. They are confident that if others would follow them, then the team would benefit and accomplish its goals. So why don’t people follow them? Because they don’t have to. Leadership is influence. If you have neither position nor influence, people will not follow you. And the further outside your organization they are, the less likely they are to let you lead them. That’s why you need to work hard to change your thinking from “I want a position that will make people follow me, to I want to become a person whom people will want to follow.” It’s a fallacy to believe that people would automatically follow you if you were the positional leader. Leaders who have actually been on the top know it doesn’t work that way. Do people follow you know? If they follow you today, then they will follow you tomorrow when you have a better (different) position. But if people don’t follow you where you are currently, then they won’t follow you where you are going either. The only solution to the Influence Challenge is to become the kind of leader other people want to follow. The following lesson illustrates what kind of person that typically is. Many people try to motivate/manipulate others by criticizing them or trying to exercise their power over them. People generally respond by becoming defensive, behaving combatively, or isolating themselves. It has been said, “You cannot antagonize and influence someone at the same time.” If leaders care about each individual as a person, then people respond well to them. The greater the depth of their concern, the broader and longer lasting their influence. Bo Schembechler, the former head coach of the University of Michigan football team said, “Deep down, your players must know that you care about them. This is the most important thing. I could never get away with what I do if the players felt I didn’t care. They know, in the long run, I’m in their corner.” People can sense how you feel about them. They can tell the difference between leaders who are using them for their own gain (manipulators) and those who want to help them succeed (motivators). People warm up to warm people. Once they get to know the heart of someone who cares, they respond well to them. Think of it this way: second mile leaders produce second mile followers. If you go out of your way to care about others and help them, then they will go out of their way to help you when you ask them to. Do you desire to become a person of greater influence? Truth@Life can help. Call 248-396-6255 or email me at curtis.songer@truthatlife.com for a FREE consultation. For more info on help I can provide check out http://truthatlife.com/

We See It When We Believe It!

We have all heard “I will believe it when I see it.” Try turning this around: We see it when we believe it. We experience it when we live it in the now. We call to our existence exactly what we are thinking and feeling and believing in the moment. Contemplate this: What am I calling into my life right now? What conscious and subconscious programs am I running on right now? What mental and emotional baggage am I clinging to? Is my life half-empty, or half-full? More importantly, what is even “in the glass” and how long have I been holding on to it? What if I chose to find and embrace the silver linings, the life lessons in disguise? Whether you reach success or failure in life has little to do with your circumstances; it has much more to do with your attitude, with your faithful courage, and with your choices. You see, non-achievers blame their circumstances; winners rise above their circumstances. Some concentrate on the blank wall that boxes them in; winners always look for a way to get under it, over it, around it, or through it. You must surround yourself with positive influences. When you are surrounded by negative thinkers, images, or materials, it is easy to get bogged down in hopelessness. Read inspiring books and magazines. Listen to motivational recordings and speakers. Attend positive-thinking seminars or programs. Make it a point to read or watch or listen to something positive and inspiring at least once every day. Focus on your strengths instead of your weaknesses. Learn to leverage your strengths in all dimension of your life: personal, family, faith, vocation, and community. Associate with positive people. Look for friends who feel good about themselves, people who have the attitude of gratitude. People who need to tear down others are not happy with themselves and are not good for you or your attitude. Life should be an adventure, to be savored from beginning to end. It is a game of constantly changing odds, constantly developing challenges, constantly opening opportunities. To win it, you have to play it. Sitting on the sidelines won’t do. Even after you’ve achieved all you ever hoped to achieve, it’s no time to stop living. Do you need assistance developing a more positive attitude? Have you maximized positivity in all areas of your life: personal, family, faith, vocation, and community? Truth@Life can help. Call 248-396-6255 or email me at curtis.songer@truthatlife.com for a FREE consultation. For more info on help I can provide check out http://truthatlife.com/

Happy Father's Day 2014!

There is not more important job in all the world. It is the only leadership job where there is no back up person waiting to step in behind you. Your Heavenly Father is your model. Happy Father's Day & Many Blessings from Truth@Life! www.truthatlife.com

To Get a Promotion - Be A Leader (Part 2)

Continued from yesterday... If you want a promotion, you must be a leader. There are 20 principles & qualities that can make anyone a great leader - if they learn & apply them. In addition to the reality of constancy (see "To Get a Promotion" - Part 1), when studying leadership it is important to keep the following facts in mind: 1. While not everyone is a born leader, anyone can become a great leader. 2. Leadership principles can be learned. Some are easier to understand and apply than others, but every one of them can be learned. 3. Leadership principles can stand alone. Each principle compliments all the others, but you don’t need one in order to learn another. 4. Leadership principles carry consequences with them. Apply the principles and people will follow you. Violate or ignore them, and you will not be able to lead others. 5. Leadership principles are only the foundation of leadership. Once you learn the principles, you have to practice and apply them to your life in order to master leadership. Reiterating from earlier: Sociologists say that even introverted people will influence an average of 10,000 people in their lifetime – think about it. Someone who is not even trying to lead others will impact many – whether for good or bad. Just think about what one person can do if he or she is intentional about leading. What kind of impact potential exists inside of you? So where do most people go to learn leadership? The answer to that question today is that they search in many places. Some examine the world of politics. Other seek models in the entertainment industry. Still others turn to the world of business. Most people seem to look to successful CEOs, management consultants, and theoreticians with Ph.D.s to learn about leadership. But the truth is, the best source of leadership teaching today is the same as it has been for thousands of years. There are 10 core principles (processes) of leadership and 10 core qualities of great leaders. Learn and practice these and you will be a great leader. I have been a student of leadership principles most of my adult life, I have combined what I consider to be the 20 best works from the 10 best authors on the subject of leadership. In doing so I have also discovered how these basic leadership principles and qualities can be applied to over 80 leadership issues. These have been formulated into case studies, profiles, and lessons that can be immediately applied to your life. Is there a need for improved leadership skills in your life? Read more at http://www.truthatlife.com/. Call 248-396-6255 or email me at curtis.songer@gmail.com for a FREE consultation. And for more info on how we can help, check out our new web site at http://truthatlife.com/

To Get a Promotion - Be A Leader

If you want a promotion, you must be a leader. There are 20 principles & qualities that can make anyone a great leader - if they learn & apply them. No one would deny that we have a leadership crisis in America today. It exists in most all spheres of our society: government, business, the family, and even the church. Everything rises and falls on leadership. More than anything else, the leadership of any group or organization (including families) will determine its success or failure. Everyone is a leader. Leadership is not just for a select few. Years ago, J. Oswald Sanders gave one of the best definitions of leadership ever written. He simply stated, “Leadership is influence.” And sociologists say that even introverted people will influence an average of 10,000 people in their lifetime! It doesn’t matter if you are a CEO or a stay-at-home mom, whether you are the parent of a family, the pastor of a church, and elected government official, an older brother or sister, the president of a company, or a potential leader for the next generation. So it is important to learn to become a better leader. The problem is that, if you are like most people, you may not wake up in the morning, look in the mirror and say, “Now, there’s an effective leader if ever I saw one!” Today, most people don’t believe they can make a positive impact on the world they live in. The truth is that few people are naturals when it comes to leading themselves or others. But everyone has leadership potential. You can become a better leader, regardless of your age, gender, marital status, or profession. The good news is that even though times change, technology marches forward, and cultures vary from place to place, leadership principles are unchanging. The true principles of leadership are constant – whether you are looking at the citizens of ancient Greece, the armies of the last 200 years, the rulers of modern Europe, famous heads of impactful families, or the business leaders of today’s global economy. Leadership principles stand the test of time – they are irrefutable. Is there a need for improved leadership skills in your life? Read more at http://www.truthatlife.com/. Call 248-396-6255 or email me at curtis.songer@gmail.com for a FREE consultation. And for more info on how we can help, check out our new web site at http://truthatlife.com/

FREE Workshop to Help Your Teen Identify their Life Calling, Career, & College

If you are in the Pittsburgh area, we are now offering free information sessions to Help Your Teen Identify their Life Calling, Career, & College. These sessions are of tremendous value in helping your teen identify their life purpose, how that maps to their career calling, improving their confidence and self-esteem, and making them better decision makers. The local free information sessions will be ideal for anyone you may know who may be one of the following situations: 1. You have many talents & aren’t sure what to do with them. 2. You're stressed about feeling a lack of direction and purpose. 3. The school aptitude test told you to go into a career that you’re not interested in. 4. You’re headed to college in the next year, but don’t know what to major in. 5. You're already at college and are considering changing your major. 6. You’ve graduated from college and think you may have made a mistake. 7. You're just starting out and need guidance in getting started in your career. Parents who have attended these sessions say the program has saved them over $20,000 per child! Come and see how. The “Help Your Teen Identify their Life Calling, Career, & College” sessions will be held at the following times and locations. Please help me spread the word! Panera Bread, Oakland, 3800 Forbes Avenue, Oakland, PA, 5-June, 6pm; Panera Bread, Ross Park, 7217 McKnight Rd, Pittsburgh, PA, 9-June, 6pm; Panera Bread, Cranberry, 20111 Route 19, Cranberry Township, 12-June, 6pm; Panera Bread, Mt. Lebanon, 1500 Washington Road, Galleria Mall, 16-June, 6pm; Panera Bread, Monroeville, 4172 William Penn Highway, Monroeville, PA, 19-June, 6pm. For more information, go to http://www.truthatlife.com/ or contact: Curtis Songer, Principal, Truth@Life, Career Planning & Professional Development, curtis.songer@truthatlife.com, 248-396-6255.

The New Truth@Life Web Site is Up & Running!

Check out my new web site at www.truthatlife.com. The new web site for Truth@Life is up and running! It describes my coaching & consulting business and all the services we offer. Even though we serve clients all over North America via Skype and FaceTime, we have grown and expanded with coaches now on the ground in Detroit and New York City. In addition, future coaches may soon be added in Chicago, Charlotte, and Atlanta. Truth@Life is all about transformational change - both personal and professional. The one constancy is this world is constant change. Truth@Life coaches are experts in change - change that is both transformational and change that is permanent. If you are seeking change in any of the following areas, we are the coaches for you: 1. Career Planning & Transition Management; 2. Professional & Leadership Development; 3. Emotional Intelligence & Relationship Management; 4. Effective Decision Making; 5. Priority & Time Management; 6. Organizational Consulting - Business Coaching & Entrepreneurship; 7. Organizational Panning for Non-Profits. Organizations and individuals have a lot in common. They have a personality (core identity) all their own. When decisions are made that honor that identity good things happen. When they don't, the individual or organization loses its way. Both people and organizations also have unique strengths and weaknesses. It can be difficult at times to identify and optimally leverage the strengths, as well as overcome the weaknesses. They both need to focus on their strengths; they will never excel in their weaknesses. Both live in a world of constant change. The more effective they anticipate and prepare for that change, the more effective they will become. Truth@Life uses a proprietary transformation process and set of tools called ACHIEVE, to uniquely develop and implement the best possible action plan to successfully move an individual or organization to achieve its goals and make the transformation permanent. Truth@Life coaches are senior veterans of individual coaching and organizational consulting. They are skilled in defining the current core identity, recognizing the strengths and weaknesses, identifying the future possibilities, crafting the best path to successful transformation, assisting with the actual transformation, and ensuring the transformation is permanent. Is there a need for change in your life? Read more at http://www.truthatlife.com/. Call 248-396-6255 or email me at curtis.songer@gmail.com for a FREE consultation. And for more info on how we can help, check out our new web site at http://truthatlife.com/

Transitioning From the Corporate World to Self-Employment (Part 2)

Continued from yesterday... By 2030, there will be more self-employed people in the workforce that there will be full-time employees. Are you prepared for this new economy? Once you understand why you need a business plan, you’ve got to spend some time doing your homework by gathering the information you need to create one. Then it’s time to roll up your sleeves and get everything down on paper. There are seven essential sections of a business plan. Key elements of a great business plan include: 1. Business Concept; 2. Marketing & Sales Plan; 3. Organizational Plan; 4. Operating Plan; 5. Current Business Position & Outlook; 6. Major Achievements; 7. Financial Features. But a great business plan alone will not ensure business success. Much more importantly, there must be a process for Assessing where you are today, Assessing where you want to be in the future (by defining Mission/Vision/Values & aligning those with Goal Setting & Strategic Planning), then developing supporting Action Plans (the plans mentioned in #2, 3, & 4 above), and finally, implementing the processes and systems that will make the future state a reality. What’s interesting to note is that this Business Coaching process for organizations is not much different from the process for Life Coaching an organization. In fact, dynamic synergies result when you put the two processes together: Business Coaching a small to mid-sized organization with Life Coaching for the owner(s) and the management team. It turns out that, due to the organic nature of businesses, they respond much like a living organism. And when the living organisms that manage the organization are transforming along with it, amazing results are achieved. I have developed a unique, proprietary process for coaching both simultaneously. Thinking of starting your own business? Considering a transition from the corporate world to self-employment? Read more at http://www.truthatlife.com/. Call 248-396-6255 or email me at curtis.songer@gmail.com for a FREE consultation. For more info on help I can provide check out http://truthatlife.com/

Transitioning From the Corporate World to Self-Employment

By 2030, there will be more self-employed people in the workforce that there will be full-time employees. Are you prepared for this new economy? Corporations today are doing several things to make self-employment for attractive than ever. First they are flattening their organizational structure, providing fewer opportunities for getting promoted and moving up to a more senior level. Second, as they are retiring employees at a younger age. Most corporations now are targeting age 55 with severance and early retirement packages. Third, as they eliminate the jobs at the top, they only create new lower-paying positions at the entry level. Fourth, lacking faith in the economy and their sales/marketing functions, there is a conscious decision by most corporations to under-employ. That means they plan to staff a maximum of 80% of the employees they think they will need and fill in the gap with sub-contractors. This makes down-turns in the business much easier to manage. These strategic forces are combining to move our economy to one where there will be more self-employed people in the workforce than there are full-time employees by 2030. Will you be one of them? Do you have what it takes to be self-employed? The answer to this question is a function of several things: your personality and gifting, your marketable skills and abilities, your passion for autonomy, your financial situation, your energy levels, etc. These “soft side” issues are really more important than your knowledge for how to get started. But once you have assessed that you do have what it takes to be an entrepreneur, you have to get organized. That takes the form of developing a business plan. To be continued tomorrow... Thinking of starting your own business? Considering a transition from the corporate world to self-employment? Read more at http://www.truthatlife.com/. Call 248-396-6255 or email me at curtis.songer@gmail.com for a FREE consultation. For more info on help I can provide check out http://truthatlife.com/

FREE Relationship Management & Emotional Intelligence Workshops

If you are in the Pittsburgh area, we are now conducting free information sessions over a two-week period to assist individuals with relationship management & emotional intelligence. These sessions are ideal for anyone interested in improving their skills in managing relationship either personally or professionally. The local free information sessions will be ideal for anyone you may know who may be one of the following situations: 1. Do you have difficulty communicating with your spouse, children, supervisor, and/or co-workers? 2. Do you feel underappreciated or disrespected in your relationships and ineffective at changing the situation? 3. Do people have unrealistic expectations of you? 4. Have you lost hope for a better tomorrow? 5. Do you have difficulty managing your emotions and are you sometimes shocked by what you say to someone else? 6. Are you in need of relational boundaries in your life? 7. Do you struggle with anger and resolving conflict? 8. Are you disappointed in the way the important relationships in your life are turning out? 9. Do your feelings sometimes control your actions? 10. Are you stressed to the point of being ready to quit and walk away? The sessions will be held at the following times and locations. Please help me spread the word! Panera Bread in Ross Park, 7217 McKnight Rd, Pittsburgh, PA, on 22-May, at 6pm; Panera Bread in Cranberry, 20111 Route 19, Cranberry Township, on 28-May, at 6pm; Panera Bread in Mt. Lebanon, 1500 Washington Road, Galleria Mall, on 29-May, at 6pm; Panera Bread in Monroeville, 4172 William Penn Highway, Monroeville, PA, on 2-June, at 6pm. For more information go to http://www.truthatlife.com/ or contact: Curtis Songer, Principal, Truth@Life, curtis.songer@gmail.com, 248-396-6255.

How to Change Your Job Before Your Employer Does It for You (Part 3)

Continued from yesterday... Reasons to consider why you should stay with your current employer: 1. You need to give your employer and job a chance. It can take about six months for you to go through training in a new job. If you depart after a year, you haven’t received much experience at all. If you don’t give yourself enough time at your job, you’ll never be trusted with more important projects that can help build your career. 2. It looks bad to switch jobs every year. Companies won’t invest in you if they know that you’re going to be a job hopper. They are looking for loyal employees who could become the next generation of leaders. Employers look down on resumes that depict job hopping for this very reason. ”Even in a focused search through recruiters I’m always looking to eliminate the job hopper,” says Mark Suster, a Partner at GRP Partners. “You’re probably disloyal. You don’t have staying power.” 3. It’s going to be very challenging finding a new job. Sometimes you just need to be happy with the job you have because so many people are unemployed. Many companies aren’t hiring now and the amount of time you spend job searching could be better utilized becoming a better and more valuable employee. 4. You will have to rebuild an internal network. When you work for a company for several years, you start to become well-known and highly connected there. You work with people in different departments, geographies, age brackets and positions. By formulating this network, you become more valuable and more productive. You learn about who inside your company can help you solve problems or accomplish projects. When you change employers, your network resets and you have to start investing time and energy in new relationships. If you decide it is time to change your job before your employer does it for you, you need to do some serious career planning. You may be in a situation where you are fully committed at work and but your gifting may not be the best fit. This may call for a new professional position, consistent with your skills and abilities, either inside or outside your present organization. In addition, this position may, or may not be, related to prior industries or functional areas you have worked in. What is important is that the new position be consistent with your Core DESIGN in order to guarantee long-term fulfillment and success: D = Driving Motivators E = Experiences: Life Lessons Learned from Life Experiences S = Specialized Skills & Strengths I = Interests & Passions G = Unique Gifting (talents) N = Natural Personality Are you struggling to determine whether you should stay with your present company, change to a new job, or perhaps even start your own business? Truth@Life can assist you with a simple 12-step process to navigate this journey, identify your Core DESIGN, develop and implement a career plan, and lead to a very positive outcome. Read more at http://www.truthatlife.com/ or Call 248-396-6255 or email me at curtis.songer@gmail.com for a FREE consultation. For more info on help I can provide check out http://truthatlife.com/

How to Change Your Job Before Your Employer Does It for You (Part 2)

The average person today changes jobs every 3 years. They go through a complete re-tooling and change careers every 10 years. Some of this is by choice. Unfortunately, some is not... Continued from yesterday… Why you should change employers: 1. You can move up faster and command a higher salary. Sometimes the best way to move up is to move out. In the Experience.com study, 54% believe that career advancement opportunities are more important than salary. The number one reason they are changing employers is because they aren’t advancing fast enough. In addition, millennials expect their average annual salary at their first job to be between $50,000 to $75,000, a sum few entry-level employees can command. It could take at least a year to get a raise because you have to wait for annual performance reviews. 2. You want to change careers altogether. If you decide that you want to go back to school to pursue an entirely different career, then it makes sense to quit your job if you’re financially able to. This is especially important if your company doesn’t have open positions in your new field because you won’t have a future there if you make the change. 3. Your relationship with your boss is toxic. If you and your manager don’t get along and you’ve tried everything possible to create a strong working relationship, then it might be time to leave. This can happen if they are untrustworthy, are taking credit for your hard work or just don’t show you any respect. Your manager has a major impact on your career success at work so if you can’t get along after an extended period of time, it’s going to hurt you. 4. Your life situation has changed. You could get married, have children, buy a house or want to start your own company. Your current salary and position at work might not support your life changes and aspirations any longer. For instance, your wife might have to move to a different state or country for work, and if you’re unable to do remote work, then you will be searching for a new job. Why you should stay with your employer... To be continued tomorrow... Are you struggling to determine whether you should stay with your present company, change to a new job, or perhaps even start your own business? Read more at http://www.truthatlife.com/. Call 248-396-6255 or email me at curtis.songer@gmail.com for a FREE consultation. For more info on help I can provide check out http://truthatlife.com/

How to Change Your Job Before Your Employer Does It for You

The average person today changes jobs every 3 years. They go through a complete re-tooling and change careers every 10 years. Some of this is by choice. Unfortunately, some is not. For those who choose to change, the most common reasons are to get better pay, to leave a “bad boss”, to get out of a toxic environment (e.g., bad relationships with co-workers), to seek better work/life balance and less stress, and seek a more fulfilling job. For those who are forced into unemployment, the reasons given by management are economic downturns, poor performance, and the need to replace older, more costly employees with younger, cheaper employees. Some of these reasons are bogus. But whatever the case, this is becoming more common every year with layoffs at some major companies as frequent as every 3 months. Do any of these sound familiar: 1. Do you feel your talents are not well utilized and you’re not as productive as you would like to be? 2. Do you need more time in the day or do you need better work/life balance? 3. Do you lack well-documented long-term goals that you consistently achieve? 4. Is there room for improvement in your relationships with your supervisor, and/or co-workers? 5. Do you have difficulty influencing and motivating others to your way of thinking? 6. Does your life lack purpose and meaning; are you disappointed in the way it is turning out? 7. Are there rumors of cost reductions and potential layoffs at work? These are all signs that it might be time to change your job before your employer does it for you. But how do you know if you should change jobs? The following are some pros and cons to changing employers.... To be continued tomorrow... Are you struggling to determine whether you should stay with your present company, change to a new job, or perhaps even start your own business? Read more at http://www.truthatlife.com/. Call 248-396-6255 or email me at curtis.songer@gmail.com for a FREE consultation. For more info on help I can provide check out http://truthatlife.com/

Starting Out In Your Career - Doing It Right the First Time (part 2)

Continued from yesterday... The average professional starting out today will change jobs at least 12 times & do a major re-tooling of their career 4 times. Why is this? Answer: Schools are not equipped with the proper staff or tools to help guide the student to a career that will be not only the most professionally rewarding, but also personally fulfilling for a lifetime. The high school process is focused on “aptitude”, measuring a student’s skills and abilities in particular subjects. However, long-term success in a career is not nearly as highly correlated to skills and abilities as it is to matching fields of study to personality, gifting, interests, and driving motivators. The high school guidance system does little to address these greater predictors of success and fulfillment. The situation is even worse for the young person who elects not to go to college. As mentioned earlier, those that do not go to college leave home on average at age 31 and cost their parents an average of $30,000. It is further interesting to note that as parents, we tend to begin channeling our young people into focusing on one sport as early as age 8 and often have them exclusively dedicated to that single sport by the time they reach age 12. Does it really make sense that we expend so much time and effort on guiding them in their chosen field of sports, a 4-year decision (college athletics), and so little time and effort guiding them into their chosen career, a 40-year decision! To address this issue, I have developed a 5-step process to assist young people and their parents with this process: • Step 1 = Discovering their Core DESIGN (where D = Driving motivators, E = Experiences & life lessons, S = Specialized skills & education, I = Interests & passions, G = Gifting & talents, N = Natural personality) • Step 2 = Developing a Life Plan (Life Mission, Values, & Vision) • Step 3 = Vocational Fit Analysis (includes approximately 1000 possible occupations) • Step 4 = Major & College Analysis (includes assessment of majors at 3800 various colleges and universities) • Step 5 = Final Selection (an objective assessment of the short list using 40 points of decision-making criteria) In order to help prevent your kids from living in your house until age 30 & beyond, you need to help them find the guidance that will launch them forward into the world. These young people need assistance identifying their strengths and gifting in order to select a career path that will lead not only to financial success, but also long-term personal fulfillment. Are you struggling to deterrmine what the best career path in life is for you? Truth@Life can help. Call 248-396-6255 or email me at curtis.songer@gmail.com for a FREE consultation. For more info on help I can provide check out http://truthatlife.com/

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Starting Out In Your Career - Doing It Right the First Time

The average professional starting out today will change jobs at least 12 times & do a major re-tooling of their career 4 times. How do you get started? Today, the Bureau of Labor Statistics predicts that the average American will have about nine jobs between the ages of 18 and 32. The average professional starting out today with do a major re-tooling of their career, switching industries at least 4 times in their career. How is a young person supposed to get off to a solid start? Thirty years ago the average young person left home by age 19. Today, those that go to college leave home on average by age 23 and cost their parents a minimum of an extra $21,000. Those that do not go to college leave home on average at age 31 and cost their parents an average of $30,000. In both cases, these extra costs generally come right out of (or never go into) the parents’ retirement funds. But what is much more tragic is that these young people are getting a slower start in life in their families and careers. Also, studies show that they suffer from low self-esteem issues, social issues, and a more significant lack of fulfillment in the careers they eventually select. To illustrate my point, recent studies have shown that only 50% of graduating high school seniors enter college having already decided on their major. Of those that are decided, 60% will change their major one or more times after their first semester in college. This means that 80% of high school graduating seniors decide on their final major after they get to college. The end result is that the average student is now taking 5.5 years to get a 4-year, undergraduate degree. This equates to over $21,000 in wasted tuition for the parents, not to mention the extra 1.5 years of their young person’s life. Why is this? Answer: To Be continued tomorrow... Are you struggling to deterrmine what the best career path in life is for you? Truth@Life can help. Call 248-396-6255 or email me at curtis.songer@gmail.com for a FREE consultation. For more info on help I can provide check out http://truthatlife.com/

Supporting Another Leader's Vision (Part 3)

Continued from yesterday... There are a number of ways people respond when leaders cast their vision and attempt to enlist them. The following continues our progression from the most negative to the most positive: 5. Champion It – Take the Leader’s Vision & Make it a Reality: Vision may begin with one person, but it is accomplished only through the efforts of many people. A good leader strives to take the top leader’s vision and move it from “me” to “we”. A famous leader once said, “The prospects never looked brighter and the problems never looked tougher. Anyone who isn’t stirred by both of those statements is too tired to be of much use to us in the days ahead.” Leaders who don’t accept the vision neither champion it nor transfer it to their followers. As a result, these leaders never contribute much to the overall success of the organization. 6. Add Value to It: The most positive response to a leader’s vision is to go beyond championing it and to actually add value to it. At that point, the vision becomes something more. It has greater value to the leader, greater value to the recipients of the vision, and greater value to the person who contributed to it. Not everyone gets the opportunity to add value to the vision. There is a prerequisite to getting the opportunity to do it, and that is championing the vision as it already exists. Once you have begun to add value to the vision, then you are no longer championing someone else’s vision; you are championing a vision to which you have contributed. If you are in the middle of an organization and struggling to support and implement someone else's vision, Truth@Life can help. Call 248-396-6255 or email me at curtis.songer@gmail.com for a FREE consultation. For more info on help I can provide check out http://truthatlife.com/

Supporting Another Leader's Vision (Part 2)

Continued from yesterday... There are a number of ways people respond when leaders cast their vision and attempt to enlist them. The following represents a progression from the most negative to the most positive: 2. Ignore It – Do Your Own Thing: Some people may not attack the vision, but they don’t support it either. Instead, they pretend it doesn’t exist and they do their own thing. Leaders cannot do this and still maintain their integrity and effectiveness. One possible example: A manager has an employee who comes to work in clothing that violates company policy. The manager is asked to confront the employee. But the manager does not agree with the policy. This manager needs to confront the employee in a way that supports his leader, despite the fact that he agrees with the employee. 3. Abandon It – Leave the Organization: If the vision violates your principles or doesn’t align to what you value deep down, leaving the organization may be an appropriate action for you. Sometimes that is the best option – to leave with honor. That way, the leader in the middle is neither undermining the vision, nor is he endorsing something with which he cannot agree. However, if the leader leaves for the wrong reasons, he may find himself in a similar situation in his next organization. He should always make sure he is leaving based on his values and not for selfishness, pride, or ego. 4. Adapt to It – Find a Way to Align with the Vision: A good employee finds a way to align himself with the vision of the organization. This can often be the case when an employee is given a task that he does not feel significantly contributes to the company’s vision. Instead of sulking or complaining, he should approach his leader to talk about the issue. Together, they may discover significant ways his job function can add greater value to the organization. Perhaps it is a way to do the task in a more cost efficient manner. This will not only further the cause of the vision, but can also add greater fulfillment to the employee. When the vision of the leader in the middle of the organization doesn’t align with that of top leadership, low job satisfaction is always the result. When the two do align, the opposite is true. If you are in the middle of an organization and struggling to support and implement someone else's vision, Truth@Life can help. Call 248-396-6255 or email me at curtis.songer@gmail.com for a FREE consultation. For more info on help I can provide check out http://truthatlife.com/

Supporting Another Leader's Vision

What would you rather do: See your own vision put into action and come to fruition, or help others fulfill theirs? For people who want to lead, the answer is usually the former. Rare is the leader who is comfortable "leading from the second chair." Leaders see possibilities and they want to seize them. Most of the time they would rather work to fulfill their own vision than someone else’s – unless that other leader’s vision is really compelling and captivating. Most leaders, however, face the challenge of being a champion for a vision other than their own. In fact, the reality is that all the people in the organization other than the top leader are going to be asked to fulfill a vision that was not their own. Even though your own vision may excite you more than someone else’s, to get the opportunity to pursue your own dreams, you will almost certainly have to succeed in achieving the dreams of others. There are a number of ways people respond when leaders cast a vision and attempt to enlist the support of others. The following represents a progression from the most negative to the most positive: 1. Attack It – Criticize & Sabotage the Vision Not everyone is going to buy into the vision of an organization, even if it is compelling, and even if the leader does a fantastic job of communicating it. That’s just a fact and it isn’t always because the people are bad followers. In many cases it is because the leaders fail to communicate the vision and/or connect with the workers. The following are the most common reasons people fail to adopt a worthy vision: They didn’t help create it. They don’t understand it. They don’t agree with it. They don’t know the vision. They feel unneeded to achieve it. They aren’t ready for it. Do any of these describe your situation? Are you being asked to support and implement the vision of another leader? This blog will be continued tomorrow with the second response many people have to a vision they did not create: Ignore it. If you are in the middle of an organization and struggling to support and implement someone else's vision, Truth@Life can help. Call 248-396-6255 or email me at curtis.songer@gmail.com for a FREE consultation. For more info on help I can provide check out http://truthatlife.com/

Want to Go Places (Part 5)?

Continued from yesterday - the final blog on this topic... It has been said, “The person who keeps busy helping the one who is below him, won’t have time to envy the person who is above him.” Here are some additional ideas on how you can develop an attitude of contentment and fulfillment for where you are in the organization... 5. Put the team above your personal success: When the stakes are high, good team members put the success of the team ahead of their own personal gains. An excellent example of this can be seen from the actions of two high-profile leaders of the British government during World War II – Winston Churchill and Clement Attlee. These two leaders could not have been more different. Churchill was a member of the conservative party, Attlee of the labor party. Churchill was fierce, fiery, and proud. Attlee was quiet and non-assuming. Churchill is quoted as having said of Attlee: “He is a modest man with much to be modest about.” Yet the two men served together admirably during the war for the sake of England. When Churchill was made the Prime Minister of England in 1940, he chose Attlee as a member of his war cabinet, eventually naming him deputy prime minister. In fact, Attlee was the only other person besides Churchill to serve in the war cabinet for the entire war. One of the keys to England’s winning the war was that both leaders put the country’s best interests above their own political ambitions. The depth of the two men’s differences concerning leadership and government became more obvious after the war in 1945, when the two opposed each other in the election for prime minister. Churchill was defeated by Attlee. These two leaders did what they thought was right, both during the war and after it. They put the nation ahead of their personal gain. As a result, the people of England won. That’s what leadership is really all about – it’s about helping others to win. That’s much more important than where you are on the organizational chart. As a leader, are you finding it difficult to be fulfilled where you are? Truth@Life can help. Call 248-396-6255 or email me at curtis.songer@gmail.com for a FREE consultation. For more info on help I can provide check out http://truthatlife.com/

Want to Go Places (Part 4)?

Continued from yesterday... It has been said, “The person who keeps busy helping the one who is below him, won’t have time to envy the person who is above him.” Here are some additional ideas on how you can develop an attitude of contentment and fulfillment for where you are in the organization... 3. Engage in continual communication: One of the frustrations of leaders who aren’t in front or on top is that they are several steps removed from the source of the organization’s vision. And since the vision is constantly being shaped and formed, it’s important to engage in continual communication. If you’re “in” on the vision and continually keeping up-to-date, then you won’t be blindsided by changes or demoralized by being out of the loop. As a leader in the middle of the organization, being the recipient of communication is important, but equally or more important is communicating up. And that takes a great deal of effort because it does not occur naturally. It takes effort and intentionality. As you interact with your leaders, let them know how you are advancing the vision. 4. Gain experience and maturity: It has been said, “The arrogance of the young is the direct result of not having known enough consequences. The turkey that greedily approaches the farmer day after day as he tosses him grain is not wrong. It's just that no one ever told him about Thanksgiving.” Maturity doesn’t come automatically. Maturity does not come with age; it begins with the acceptance of responsibility. When you begin looking at your life and work with more experience and a longer-term view, being in front doesn’t seem as important. Focusing on the responsibilities with which you are entrusted wherever you are, and completing them with excellence, brings greater fulfillment than the position, title, or prestige one gets from being on the top. To be continued... As a leader, are you finding it difficult to be fulfilled where you are? Truth@Life can help. Call 248-396-6255 or email me at curtis.songer@gmail.com for a FREE consultation. For more info on help I can provide check out http://truthatlife.com/

Another Update from Curtis Songer - FREE Leadership & Professional Development Workshops

If you are in the Pittsburgh area, free information sessions over a two-week period to assist individuals with leadership and professional development. These will be ideal sessions for anyone interested in improving their skills professionally for career advancement and promotion opportunities. But these leadership skills also apply equally at home for being a better spouse, parent, or sibling. Sociologists tell us that we will all influence at least 10,000 people in our lifetime – so these influencing skills are critically important for everyone. The local free information sessions will be ideal for anyone you may know who may be one of the following situations: 1. Their talents are not utilized and they’re not as productive as they would like to be. 2. They are stressed & need better work/life balance. 3. Their present boss just doesn't understand them &/or they need to figure out how to get the next promotion. 4. They lack well-documented long-term goals that they consistently achieve. 5. There room for improvement in their relationships with their spouse, children, supervisor, and/or co-workers. 6. They have difficulty influencing and motivating others to their way of thinking. 7. Those who simply want to improve their leadership skills. The sessions will be held at the following times and locations. Please help me spread the word! Panera Bread, Oakland 3800 Forbes Avenue, Oakland, PA, 10-May @ 11am; Panera Bread, Ross Park 7217 McKnight Rd, Pittsburgh, PA, 12-May @ 6pm; Panera Bread, Cranberry 20111 Route 19, Cranberry Township, 14-May @ 6pm; Panera Bread, Mt. Lebanon 1500 Washington Road, Galleria Mall, 17-May @ 11am; Panera Bread, Monroeville 4172 William Penn Highway, Monroeville, PA, 19-May @ 6pm. For more information, contact: Curtis Songer Principal, Truth@Life Leadership & Professional Development 248-396-6255 curtis.songer@gmail.com

Want to Go Places (Part 3)?

It has been said, “The person who keeps busy helping the one who is below him, won’t have time to envy the person who is above him.” The right attitude is absolutely essential to contentment in the middle of an organization. Indeed, leadership is more about disposition than position. With the right attitude and the right skills, you can influence others from wherever you are in the organization. You can develop an attitude of contentment and fulfillment for where you are in the organization by doing the following five things... 1. Develop strong relationships with key people: It’s more important to get along with people than it is to get ahead of them. If you make it your goal to reach out to others and build relationships with them, you will derive fulfillment wherever you are. And whatever you do, don’t give up too easily on others if at first you don’t like them or easily connect with them. You may be surprised by how, over time, a potential adversary can become an ally. 2. Define wins in terms of teamwork: Legendary basketball coach John Wooden said, “The main ingredient of stardom is the rest of the team.” In other words, teamwork is what creates success, and we shouldn’t lose sight of that. One player may be crucial to a team but one player cannot make a team. When I think of someone who created a win using teamwork, I think of John Wooden. Anyone who values teamwork, and saw Wooden's teams play, remembers them. More ideas on developing an attitude of contentment and fulfillment for where you are in the organization tomorrow... As a leader, are you finding it difficult to be fulfilled where you are? Truth@Life can help. Call 248-396-6255 or email me at curtis.songer@gmail.com for a FREE consultation. For more info on help I can provide check out http://truthatlife.com/

Want to Go Places (Part 2)?

Continued from yesterday... There are advantages to being in front or on top of an organization. Here are some additional reasons why leaders like to be “out front”... 3. Leaders in front get to determine the direction: Many believe that the leader in front controls many things within the organization. The truth is, there are many things he cannot control. For example, the only people who have total control in their lives are those that don’t lead anything. They are accountable only to themselves, not others. But this is a fallacy, because everybody leads somebody or something, including themselves. Good leaders get to control mainly two things: direction and timing. Unfortunately, if they aren’t leading well, they can’t even control those two things. 4. Leaders can set the pace: Leaders love progress. It’s one of their primary motivations. As a leader, you probably love moving forward, and the faster, the better. But that can also work against you. If you are running so far ahead that your people can’t follow, then your organization won’t succeed. Achievers (like me) often cross the finish line first, but leaders rarely do. A good leader’s success comes from bringing others across the finish line with them. Unfortunately, the journey with others is slower than the journey alone. That’s true in every area of life where you are trying to lead. A trip to the grocery store is much faster when you go alone than when you take your children. A business trip with colleagues is never as fast as one by yourself (e.g., It can take 30 minutes just to get everyone to agree on a place to eat!). As a leader, you may be able to model the behavior you desire in others, but you will not be able to go as quickly as you want. The only people who may fight for progress the way you do, and want to move quickly, will probably be other good leaders. 5. Leaders enjoy being in on the action: Because leaders like to make things happen, they always enjoy being where the action is. But many times that is not at the top or in front of an organization. Major decisions are made in those places, but usually the action really occurs in the middle of the organization. That’s where most of the exciting activity is. As a leader, are you finding it difficult to be fulfilled where you are? Truth@Life can help. Call 248-396-6255 or email me at curtis.songer@gmail.com for a FREE consultation. For more info on help I can provide check out http://truthatlife.com/

Want To Go Places?

Wherever people find themselves in life, they usual possess a natural desire to move up. They typically want greater recognition. They may want to make more money. They may want to live in a better home. They probably want to improve and advance. Leaders are no different. They generally want to move up rather than stay put. They want to make a greater impact. They want to be at the front of the pack or the top of an organization, especially early in their lives and careers. But is being out in front really all that it’s cracked up to be? There are advantages to being in front or on top of an organization. But the same things that can benefit leaders can also make leadership difficult. It is almost always a double-edged sword, and anyone who sees only the positives without recognizing the negatives is either naïve or inexperienced. Here are some reasons why leaders like to be “out front”... 1. The front is the most recognized position for a leader: Everyone enjoys praise and recognition. It has been said, “If each of us were to confess his/her most secret desire, the one that inspires all his/her plans and actions, s/he would say, ‘I want to be praised.’” And since leaders, who are the most visible, often receive the credit when a job is well done, many people desire to become leaders. But recognition isn't always what it is cracked up to be. When things go wrong, the person recognized as responsible is also the leader. When a football team has a losing season, the coach gets the blame. When a baseball team keeps losing games, the manager gets fired. When the big account doesn’t sign on with the company, the person leading the effort is held responsible. Being in front can be good for your ego, but it can also cost you your job. 2. The view is better from the front: A newscaster once conducted an interview with an accomplished mountain climber. The journalist asked, “Why do you climb mountains? The mountain climber looked at the newsman and replied, “It’s obvious that you’ve never been to the top of a mountain.” The view from the top of a mountain is incredible – it’s thrilling. The perspective is uniquely amazing, especially if it can only be reached by climbing. Similarly, it’s often hard to read the “organizational scoreboard” from the middle of the pack. It’s much easier to see it when you are at the top of the organization. There is a perspective one has from the front (aka, the top) of an organization that cannot be had from anywhere else. But with that perspective comes responsibility. If you see problems that can threaten to derail the organization, harm employees, or cheat customers, you have a responsibility to try to resolve them – no matter how messy, costly, or difficult it is. Leaders at the front don’t have the freedom to neglect what their position allows them to see. As a leader, are you finding it difficult to be fulfilled where you are? Truth@Life can help. Call 248-396-6255 or email me at curtis.songer@gmail.com for a FREE consultation. For more info on help I can provide check out http://truthatlife.com/

All Leaders Have Ego (Part 2)

The fact that leaders in the middle of the organization are often hidden – and as a result they often don’t get the credit or recognition they deserve – can be a real ego buster. The challenge is to be a team player and remain content while contributing. Continued yesterday, here are some additional tips for doing that... 3. Find satisfaction in knowing the real reason for the success of a project: In his book, Good to Great, author Jim Collins writes about “level 5” leaders. These leaders usually led their organizations quietly and humbly. They were much more effective than the flashy, charismatic, high-profile leaders. One of the reasons that’s true is that these leaders understood that they didn’t really deserve all the credit for the success of their organization. The success came mainly from the people who got the work done – especially the leaders in the middle of the organization. When you do a job well, and you know the impact of the work that you did, that should give you great satisfaction and should motivate you. When you know you’re making a significant contribution, you need less external motivation. The definition of high morale is: “I make a difference.” 4. Embrace the compliments of others in the middle of the pack: There is no higher compliment than acknowledgement and appreciation from someone whose circumstances, position, or experience is similar to yours. A musician may enjoy a compliment from a fan, but praise from another accomplished musician means more. When an entrepreneur says someone is good at spotting an opportunity, you believe him/her. Likewise, when someone else who is leading from the middle of the organization tells you, “Well done,” you should take it to heart. Novelist Mark Twain once said, “One compliment can keep me going for a whole month.” Everyone enjoys kind word from the boss, and many seek them out. But the praise of a colleague who’s walked in your shoes really does mean more. 5. Understand the difference between self-promotion and selfless promotion: Sir Isaac Newton discovered the laws of gravity in the 1600s. When he introduced those laws to the scientific world, it revolutionized astronomical studies. But if it weren’t for Edmund Halley, Newton would not have been recognized as a great scientist. Halley was a sounding board for Newton’s ideas, he challenged Newton’s assumptions, he corrected Newton’s mathematical calculations, and he even drafted geometric diagrams to support Newton’s work. When Newton was hesitant to publish his ideas, Halley first convinced him to write the manuscript, then edited it and supervised its publication. Halley even financed the printing of it. The final work, Mathematical Principles of Natural Philosophy, made Newton one of the most highly regarded thinkers in history. Halley understood the difference between self-promotion and selfless promotion. It was more important to him to see Newton’s ideas shared than to receive personal recognition for helping him. He knew how important those ideas were, and he wanted to get them out into the world. That’s what people do who understand selfless promotion. Self-promotion says, “If you don’t toot your own horn, no one else will toot it for you.” Selfless promotion says, “I just want to help the team make beautiful music!” Tim Sanders, author of Love is the Killer App, talks about the abundance mind-set. This was an idea promoted by Stephen Covey over a decade earlier. It states that there are plenty of resources, credit, and opportunities to go around. In fact, it is a scarcity mind-set that is at the root of most conflict. Leaders that excel in the middle of the pack have an abundance mind-set. And if you lead well from the middle of an organization, you won’t stay there forever. Good leadership always gets noticed. Are you struggling to be fulfilled with the limited recognition you receive? Truth@Life can help. Call 248-396-6255 or email me at curtis.songer@gmail.com for a FREE consultation. For more info on help I can provide check out http://truthatlife.com/

All Leaders Have Ego

It is normal for any person to want recognition, and leaders are the same. The fact that leaders in the middle of the organization are often hidden – and as a result they often don’t get the credit or recognition they deserve – can be a real ego buster. The challenge is to be a team player and remain content while contributing. Here are some tips for doing that... 1. Concentrate more on your duties than on your dreams: Leonard Bernstein was once asked which instrument he considered to be the most difficult to play. After a moment he responded, “Second fiddle. I can get plenty of first violinists, but to find one who can play second fiddle with enthusiasm – that’s a problem.” We can often become so focused on our dreams and goals that we lose sight of the responsibilities right in front of us. Effective leaders pay more attention to production than to promotion. They focus on delivering the goods. If you consistently deliver the goods, you will be noticed. And more importantly, you will be content with the job you do even at those times when others don’t recognize your efforts. 2. Appreciate the value of your position: Not everyone will understand or appreciate the work you do. So it’s important that you do. A cute anecdote illustrates this principle well: A beaver and a rabbit were once having a conversation in front of Hoover Dam. As they started up at the immense wall of the dam, the beaver said to the rabbit, “No, I didn’t actually build it myself. But it was based upon an idea of mine.” Every position has value, but all too often we don’t value that position. You make a position important by valuing it. If we despise the position we have, it may be because of “destination disease,” which some also call the ‘greener grass syndrome.’ If we focus on being some other place because we think it’s better, then we will neither enjoy where we are nor do what we must do to succeed. Are you struggling to be fulfilled with the limited recognition you receive? Truth@Life can help. Call 248-396-6255 or email me at curtis.songer@gmail.com for a FREE consultation. For more info on help I can provide check out http://truthatlife.com/

Middle Managers Wear Many Hats (Part 2)

Continued from yesterday... Being in the middle of an organization is a lot like being the middle child in a family. These leaders have to learn to get along with everybody around them and survive the various family dynamics: following, leading, cajoling, appeasing, and partnering as needed. It’s not an easy task. Here are a few guidelines: 3. When you change hats, don’t change your personality: This is harder than it sounds. As stated earlier, you shouldn’t treat your spouse the same way you treat you employees. That doesn’t mean, however, that you should change your personality according to who you’re with. Your attitude and behavior should be consistent and predictable. Otherwise, you won’t be trustworthy in the eyes of those you work with. 4. Don’t neglect any hat you are responsible to wear: If you neglect the duties of any hat for a day, you will fall behind. The physical separation of different areas of responsibility may help you make the mental leap you need to keep all your responsibilities moving forward, neglecting none. Whenever possible, leave work at the office and vice versa. If you are being asked to wear many hats by people in your life, then you must be sure to not neglect any of them. 5. Remain flexible: The main key is knowing what hat to put on at any point in time and enjoying the challenge it offers. The only way to do that is to remain flexible. Because there are so many demands on leaders in the middle of an organization, they can’t afford to be rigid. They need to be able to change hats at a moment’s notice. Some people love a new challenge and thrive on the rapidly changing demands and nature of leadership in the middle of an organization. It energizes them. Others find it less appealing. But it’s something that all great leaders must learn to navigate if they want to be successful and influence others from wherever they are in the organization. Are you struggling to know which hat to wear and when? Truth@Life can help. Call 248-396-6255 or email me at curtis.songer@gmail.com for a FREE consultation. For more info on help I can provide check out http://truthatlife.com/

Middle Managers Wear Many Hats (Part 1)

Being in the middle of an organization is a lot like being the middle child in a family. These leaders have to learn to get along with everybody around them and survive the various family dynamics: following, leading, cajoling, appeasing, and partnering as needed. It’s not an easy task. So what are the leaders in the middle of an organization to do when they are required to wear many hats but have only one head? Here are a few guidelines: 1. Remember that the hat sets the context when interacting with others. Every role or hat you are asked to wear has its own responsibilities and objectives. If you change hats, keep in mind that the context changes. You wouldn’t interact in the same way with your spouse, your children, your boss, and your employees, would you? The goal often determines the role and the approach to take. 2. Don’t use one hat to accomplish a task required for another hat. Consider an executive assistant. They constantly attend meetings for their boss when he is out of town. They do so that they can keep their boss up to date on strategy and important changes that are occurring. When working in that capacity, they have to be careful not to abuse their communication link to get their own way. They must be careful when to claim they are “speaking for the boss.” Their words carry great weight. Likewise, after they attend a meeting and are filling their boss in on what happened, they must be careful to represent the opinions of the people in the meeting fairly and accurately. They have to be an expert in knowing what hat to where in any given situation, and they may be required to change hats in an instant. They have a very powerful position, but they never use one hat to accomplish the tasks that may be required in another capacity. They must take the time to cultivate each working relationship on its own term, and act accordingly. It’s often a balancing act. To be continued... Are you struggling to know which hat to wear and when? Truth@Life can help. Call 248-396-6255 or email me at curtis.songer@gmail.com for a FREE consultation. For more info on help I can provide check out http://truthatlife.com/

Dealing with Incompetent and Ineffective Leaders (part 2)

A normal reaction to working under an incompetent and/or ineffective leader is to try to fix or replace the leader you’re working for, but that is usually not an option for leaders in the middle of the organization. It may not be easy, but it is possible to survive – and even flourish in a situation like this. Continued from yesterday, here are some additional recommendations: 4. Get Permission to Develop a Game Plan to Complement Your Leader’s Weaknesses: Besides leveraging your strengths, one of the other secrets to job success is to staff up for your weaknesses. As a leader, you would be wise to empower some people who work for you to fill in your talent gaps. For example, if you are not good at details, then hire someone who is and have them work closely with you. You can play that same gap-filling role with your leader. You must be very careful, however, in the way you approach this subject. Don’t offer your opinion on her weaknesses unless she asks, and even then, be tactful. If she identifies one of her weaknesses to you, privately ask if she would be willing to let you carry the ball in that area. The idea is to do what she can’t do so that she can do what she does best. 5. Expose Your Leader to Good Leadership Resources: If you are working to improve your leadership skills, then you’ve probably discovered many good leadership resources, such as books, CDs, DVDs, etc. Share those with your leader. Once again, the approach you take is very important. Rather than saying, “Boy, do you need this!” say something like, "I just got through with this book, and I thought you might enjoy it too.” Or, if you find some kind of connection or hook that you might think appeals to him, say, “I was reading this wonderful book, and I thought of you; the author and you have similar backgrounds. I think you might like it.” And then give him a copy of his own. If that resource is well received, you might try periodically following it up with others. 6. Publicly Affirm Your Leader: Some people fear that if they say positive things about an ineffective leader they work for, they will be misleading others. Or they worry that others will think they have poor judgment. But other people are aware of an ineffective leader’s limitations, and as long as your affirmation is truthful and focuses on your leader’s strengths, it won’t reflect badly on you. In fact, it will engender others’ respect. Your affirmation for your leader will help him develop confidence, not only in himself but also in you. Are you struggling under an ineffective and/or incompetent leader? Truth@Life can help. Call 248-396-6255 or email me at curtis.songer@gmail.com for a FREE consultation. For more info on help I can provide check out http://truthatlife.com/

Dealing with Incompetent and Ineffective Leaders (part 1)

A normal reaction to dealing with incompetent and/or ineffective leaders is to fix or replace the leader you’re working for, but that is usually not an option for leaders in the middle of the organization. But even if it were, it would be inappropriate. No matter what the circumstance, our limitation isn’t the leader above us – it’s the spirit within us. Remember your leadership is more about your disposition than your position. The role of leaders in the middle of an organization – in nearly every circumstance – is to add value to the organization and to the leader. The only time that is not true is when the leader above you is unethical or criminal. So what you do when you find yourself following a leader who is incompetent and/or ineffective? How do you add value in such a circumstance? Most good leaders have had to ask themselves those questions at some time in their lives. In fact, the stronger you are as a leader, the more likely you are to face a situation where you can lead more effectively than the person to whom you report. It may not be easy, but it is possible to survive – and even flourish in a situation like this. Here are some recommendations... 1. Develop a Solid Relationship with Your Leader: The first reaction to working with an ineffective leader is often to withdraw from him of her and build relational barriers. Fight that urge. If you make your leader your adversary, you will create a no-win situation. Instead, build a relational bridge. Try to get to know him/her. Find common ground. Build a solid professional relationship. And in the process, reaffirm your commitment to the mission of the organization. Doing those things will put you on the same team. 2. Identify & Appreciate Your Leader’s Strengths: Everybody has strengths – even an incompetent and/or ineffective leader. Work to find them in the person you work for. It may not be easy. Maybe his/her strengths aren’t qualities you value or admire. That doesn’t matter. Find them, and then think about how they might be assets to the organization. 3. Commit Yourself to Adding Value to Your Leader’s Strengths: The pathway to success in your career lies in maximizing your strengths. That is also true for your leader. Once you have discerned what your leader’s strengths are and how those characteristics can be an asset to the organization, look for ways to help leverage those strengths. This list of ideas on how to deal with incompetent and/or ineffective leaders will be continued tomorrow. In the meantime, if you are Are you struggling under an ineffective and/or incompetent leader Truth@Life can help. Call 248-396-6255 or email me at curtis.songer@gmail.com for a FREE consultation. For more info on help I can provide check out http://truthatlife.com/